Hello and welcome to my website: Friend, either you're closing your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster Indicated by the presence of a pool table in your community. Well, ya got trouble my friend. Right here I say, trouble right here in River City, why sure, I'm a billiard player Certainly, mighty proud I say, I'm always mighty proud to say it. I consider that the hours I spend with a cue in my hand are golden. Help you cultivate horse sense and a cool head and a keen eye. Did you ever take and try to give an iron-clad leave to yourself From a three-rail billiard shot? But just as I say it takes judgement, brains and maturity to score In a balkline game, I say that any boob Can take and shove a ball in a pocket. And I call that sloth. The first big step on the road to the depths of deg-ra-day I say, first, medicinal wine from a teaspoon, then beer from a bottle! And the next thing you know your son is playing for money in a pinch-back suit and listenin' to some big outta town jasper, hearin' him tell about horse race gamblin' Not a wholesome trottin' race, no, but a race where they set down right on the horse! Like to see some stuck-up jockey boy, settin' on Dan Patch? Make your blood boil! Well I should say. Now friends, let me tell you what I mean. You got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 pockets in a table, pockets that mark the difference between a gentleman and a bum With a capital "B" and that rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool...